“And they lived happily ever after.”

The end.

Except it wasn’t the end.

They had been married for six years now; six long years since their whirlwind romance.

Both had been so young, so foolish.

The first few years were fuelled solely by their recollections of the past.

Their story, once every young child’s demand at bedtime, had grown old.

A damsel in distress, a knight in shining armour.( Or was it slightly rusted? )

A greater good to fight for, evil forces hard at work. ( Or were they just delusional? )

He rode in on his gallant steed. ( An ageing horse named Henry.)

He brandished his sword, and evil drained away into the sewers. (It probably just went into hibernation.)

They shared their first kiss, and rode off into the sunset. ( And subsequently got lost in the dark. )

A grand wedding was thrown, attended by anyone who was someone.

So here’s the deal, they barely knew each other.

They had met but a measly two times before they decided to spend the rest of their lives with one another.

They ignored the wise words of those around them, deeming them “ charlatans “, and “ mere obstacles in the path of true love.”

Some might even say, ( correctly ) that they were setting themselves up for sure failure.

Thus as time passed, and the magic delusions of their youth faded away, nagging seeds of doubt took up residence in their minds.

Reality had slowly settled in with them, they were both older,  they had both changed.

He was not at the castle most of the time, waging wars, acquiring land, being the perfect king and what have you not.

She stayed at home, taking up small chores to keep herself occupied.

At first she stayed up late, waiting for her prince to come home and shower her with flattery and gifts.

Slowly his returns began to correspond more to the time of his initial departures.

They had tried to have children at first, but it was not to be. No one knew why.

 ( My bet is on the evil witch. Aggravating people who know black magic probably isn’t the smartest idea. )

Slowly but surely they drifted apart.

They were both so much more different than they had anticipated.

He was vain, a bit of a control freak.

( “ A finer man had not been seen.” )

She was moody, highly demanding.

(“ A fair young maiden, her beauty incomparable.” )

They got along just about as well as chalk and cheese. ( Or Hitler and Churchill.)

As their physical attraction for one another wore away, their time together was filled by more and more silence.

They now slept in two separate rooms.

Yet they continued to trudge along.

After three years he spent more time away from his castle and “one true love” than he did with.

Her days were now empty.

She had begun to regret her lack of education.

Alcohol stained her bed sheets and tapestries.

 Besides, almost anything she suggested was shot down by cries of, “ highly inappropriate for a queen m’lady.”

Her birds and mice had all passed away. ( Blame biology. )

Thus she slowly sank into depression.

Rumours began to fly around the kingdom like paper aeroplanes.

Apparently the king had found himself an “exotic” mistress. One who accompanied him on all of his voyages. ( She’s tall, tan with luscious lips. How could the poor boy resist? )

The queen had been spending more and more time with the court jester. ( I’m sure she’s getting more than a few laughs out of him. )

After the jester was seen running out of the queen’s bed chamber by a couple of hand maidens, the entire land went into a tizzy.

The king had just returned from a six month voyage, and was informed of his queen’s misdemeanours.

Rumour has it, she was never seen again.

( She was locked up in the dungeons. Serves her right. )

( Poor girl, she should have known he was bad news. )

No time was wasted in putting a new queen on the throne.

A grand wedding was thrown, attended by anyone who was someone.

She was tall, tan, had luscious lips and quickly became the darling of the kingdom.

Thus, they lived happily ever after.

Or did they?

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