Water was always my sanctuary,
The sea and its endless calm would wash my sorrows away
So why do I find myself drowning
In the same watery depths that once brought me peace.
An endless echo of silence as I call out
To anyone who can hear me.
I used to think of myself as a seashell,
Gently washed ashore by the rising tide,
Glistening in the moonlight as the sea breeze soothes my soul
So how did I become a crumpled plastic bag
Tossed aside by the one I trusted,
Disposed of without a second thought
Constantly wondering, where I could have gone wrong.
Saltwater tracing patterns on my skin,
Stinging the scars that I opened up
Just to let you inside.
I ask not for pity,
I have not yet reached the lightless depths,
I am but trapped beneath the surface
The sunlight reaching my skin, but not warming it
Hands pass by,
Gently caressing the water and I try to reach out
But they pull away at the last second
And I am left grasping at nothing
So close to the surface, yet unable to break out.
I had once dreamed of sharing my sanctuary with you
Sitting side by side as our feet dug into the cool sand
Perhaps I was naïve,
I built our sandcastles where the waves would surely arrive
Gave too much of myself to someone
Who never cared for the beach anyway
Looked away from the crumbling walls of sand
As you simply walked away,
Leaving my trampled broken sea shells in your wake.
I wish more than anything,
That I was like the ocean
Cold, calm and unfeeling
I wish that I was like you
But I am not.
It is both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness
I wish that I was like you
But I am thankful I am not
I am the crashing waves on a stormy night,
I am the sunlight glimmering on a sunny summer day,
I am a vast coral reef teeming with life
And you are just the lifeless piece of plastic
That I refuse to be.
The next time I choose to dive into the endless ocean,
I will do it with someone who will dive with me too
And together we will discover Atlantis
Swim amongst the migrating herring
Bathe in the glow of sunken treasure
Together we will sit side by side, feet buried in the cool sand
And watch the sun set on my sanctuary once more.